Why your body wants you to stop trying to be a better person
Words of Wisdom from a Somanaut
I think desperation is undervalued. It’s what happens when your body’s response to something becomes uncontrollable. Welcome it, and thank yourself for being healthy enough, human enough, to experience emotion.
It’s an incredible opportunity to stop trying to think your way out of a feeling, a conflict, or a problem.
Desperation is a message from your body to put on your life jacket, get in the boat, trust your deeper instincts, and set sail. Whatever you are desperate about, eventually your agita reaches an apex. You can feel this clearly in your body.
Anger, fear, or sadness, each has its own tempo, a quality and rhythm of energy that rises… and falls. This is good news!
Even if it rises to a fever pitch, the nature of our nervous system is that it will shift and change eventually. Energy is always changing, and it will subside. Maybe it will need to rise and subside several times.
Instead of trying to analyze what’s going on, risk letting the energy peak. Only then can you ride the wave down into the calm on the other side.
Resting there, even for a few moments, provides a much-needed reset for your body. Otherwise, you risk getting stuck in a frozen state, with emotional energy trying to rise, you trying to push it down, and there you are. In a battle with yourself all day long.
You must be intentional about taking time for yourself to experience and pass through the state of desperation so you can get to the other side.
Skill in conscious embodiment is not about controlling your body, at least not in the conventional sense of the word. It’s about utilizing knowledge and wisdom to know the precise moment to catch a wave and ride it to its soft conclusion on shore.
In fact, the choice to “let” something happen in your body instead of trying to control it is a kind of control. The choice to not clench, to not hold back, to not try harder, not to be calmer or better.
I love that moment when people say “I give up!” I just have to be myself.
The next time you feel desperate, try to find a safe space where you can let your energy rise, expand, fall, and calm itself. A place where you can let yourself just be, for a few moments. A bathroom stall, a private corner of your workspace, the luxury of an office with a door that closes. If you are really lucky, you might be able to lie down on the floor, breath, and gaze at the ceiling for few minutes.
Choosing to take this time may feel impossible. It feels like hours to you when your nervous system is jacked up, but it’s actually only minutes. You do have time. And you know very well, if you don’t take a few minutes when you need them, you can lose a whole day to worry and stress.